The other week I was in Los Angeles for a meeting with my old friend Bart. Anyway, we were riding on the 101 and were going about 40 mph. I looked over at the M-Car in the lane next to us and couldn't believe it; the driver car had both his hands off the and was texting away on a SymPhone. This didn't make me real happy. Fortunately, I immediately used my special app called "The Silencer" and remotely shut off his phone. If you're wondering if I can do that, it's in the "terms of service." But that's not the point.
Almost every time I get into a car or walk across some street, I feel like I'm risking my life because some driver is playing with his phone. Makes me wonder why I ever even came out with Symphone. But I may have a solution.
I'm excited to announce that Sympile is taking a new step forward in this battle against moronic driving: SymInsurance. It's a little incentive to get people to drive more carefully. Sympile will pick up the cost of auto insurance if you're willing to follow a few rules.
Shut Off The Phone
No Driving more than 5 miles over the speed limit.
Must stop for pedestrians, bicyclists, animals, and old people.
Not too complicated.
More than 30,000 are killed in auto accidents every year in the United States alone. Worldwide you're looking at more than one million. And because self-driving SymCars are still a few years away, I decided we need to do something now.
As an incentive to reduce accidents, Sympile is planning to offer FREE auto insurance to the first 1,000 qualified drivers who will agree to install our SymInsurance on their Symphones.
This app will monitor your driving and stop you from texting, making calls, or otherwise playing with your phone. And if you think that we're going to get a second phone to get around our rules, not going to happen. As soon as the car starts moving, all phones in the car will be shut off. (Of course, SymMaps will keep working to keep you advised as to any potential slowdowns to avoid and special offers that might interest you on the route).
I know what you're thinking (after all I am Sympile), "That's not fair. Shutting of all phones in the car? My rules. You don't like it, don't sign up.
You're probably wondering how're we going to make money by off providing free insurance. The answer is "Volume." Just joking.
First, you're going to need a SymPhone. You think I'm going to let Apple or Google ride our tails. Those copycats can try to come up with their own plans.
Second, you agree that Sympile advertising can be presented through SymMaps.
Third, in the event that your driving fails to live up to the required Sympile-safe-driving standards, the driver will be required to reimburse Sympile for the cost of insurance.
What do you think? Free auto insurance as an incentive to get people to driver safer. Good idea or bad?
Have a Question? It's Sympile.
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